Why You NEVER Follow Through with Relationships and How to Break the Habit.

“We should get together! We never hang out!”

Maybe you’re like me and you’ve heard statements like that your entire life. This last week, I’ve noticed it more and more and guess what? Nothing has changed. Neither I nor the other people in those conversations have made that initial contact to actually get together. Is it because we just don’t like each other or are we simply too busy to be in a community with each other?

Here are a couple of reasons to help us better understand why we never follow through and how to stop it.

1.It’s not that important in my mind.

Ouch. Let’s be honest, if it was really important to me or the other person we would make it priority number one. When we hear that one of our favorite sports teams is playing at certain time, by golly we will be there, won’t we? It’s important to us. As much as it stings to hear that, we have to realize that most of the time we aren’t that important in someone else’s mind.

2. I’m not self-aware.

Maybe I’m not self-aware enough to realize that I never follow through with my plans. I assume that the “hangout” will just be pout on my calendar and when that day finally rolls around I don’t even remember saying anything about getting together. What I do remember is that Netflix is beckoning to binge watch episodes of Law and Order SVU. (You watch it too, don’t act like you don’t)

3. It’s not new and shiny. 

Pull out the aluminum foil and you’ll have my attention for days. We live in such an ADHD society that the newest, brightest, shiniest thing catches our attention and we forget about everything else that we had planned. Some of us even use that awful term “YOLO” as an excuse to ditch our previously engaged events so we can enjoy “the moment of life.” Well at least I do that, but maybe it just boils down to just being selfish. 

So how do we fix this epidemic of never following through?

Easy! (Said no one ever)

1. We have to make ourselves feel the urgency.

You can’t  just wait for the motivation to show up in your life. This is something you have to create within yourself. Make yourself feel like this is the most important meeting ever to take place in your life. If you knew this meeting would be a life changing meeting you would feel the urgency in making it actually happen. 

2. Give Yourself an Actual Date.

If we don’t actually put a date on it, no one will ever meet. It’s the surest way to make sure you follow through with actually following through. Once you have something scheduled, put on a sticky note and place it on the front of your computer. Add the event in your calendar on your phone. Do something to spark your memory. 

3. Consistent Action.

In order to create a habit of following through, this practice has to take place in our everyday life. It’s like anything else in our life, it takes practice being intentional on maintaining relationships. 

Most people neglect the art of following through. I hope you can join me in saying “no” to the empty promises and actually following through with the statements we say. 

Have you or anyone you know always say statements and never follow through with them? How do you overcome it? Comment Below.

All rights reserved Salient.