4 Ways To Get Out Of The Christian Mingle

What’s the Christian mingle? I mean you know about Christian Mingle, but I’m talking about the Christian mingle. The awkward moment in the church service where it seems you’re “required” to mingle with other church goers. The rules are simple….meet someone you don’t know and greet them.

Ugh.

 
I don’t know about you, but this is probably the last thing I want to do in church. Why can’t we sing our songs, listen to the pastor, and get out the door before we get slammed with small group invitations. After much studying and practicing, I’ve created 5 sure ways to get out of the Christian Mingle.

 

1. Introduce yourself as “Judas”. Trust me when I say the conversation will be very brief after you use this move.

 

2. Sneeze into your hands right before you shake someone’s hand. Make sure you make a loud obnoxious sneeze into your palm. DO NOT WIPE. This will ensure your guarantee of having a very brief conversation and you won’t even have to shake their hand!

 

3. Pull out your cell phone. Nothing says like “I don’t want to mingle” by pretending you received an important phone call from your mother.

 

4. Go to the bathroom. This one requires you moving out of the worship experience for a few minutes. It may smell and be uncomfortable, but that’s the price you pay for not playing the Christian mingle.

 

In all seriousness, embrace the Christian mingle. Everyone is awkward the first time they meet someone. If you’re like me, your pretty much awkward all the time. Who knows you may meet your new bestest friend.

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